Should the IDF issue sperm donor cards to soldiers? - comment

The loss of a loved one is always tragic – even when that loss is anticipated.When the loved one is young, it is even more tragic; and when the loved one is an only child or only son, the tragedy is magnified.The pain of loss is more deeply felt when parents of a soldier who has fallen in battle or has lost his life while in service in the army want to ensure the continuity of their family and want to harvest his sperm so that they can find a surrogate mother to give birth to their grandchild. Up until recently, surrogacy was more or less illegal in Israel, but the barriers are gradually being lowered. Today, the only legal form of surrogacy is gestational surrogacy, meaning that the woman who carries the child is not genetically related to the embryo and has no legal ties to the baby once it is born. However, sperm donations must be provided with the donor's consent.The ethical problem of sperm donations from fallen soldiersNow comes an ethical problem enveloped in an emotional need. Anyone who has been following the casualty lists of the Israel Defense Forces will have noticed the preponderance of 18-, 19- and 20-year-olds among the fallen. IDF Brigade 646 troop operates in the Gaza Strip. February 20, 2024. (credit: IDF SPOKESPERSON'S UNIT)Few young men of this age in Israel are married. Rather than thinking of settling down, they are planning the six- to 12-month post-army trip abroad, and what their study and career choices will be when they eventually return home and attend university.If they should die while serving in the army, their parents can decide whether or not they want the final resting place for their sons to be in a military cemetery or a civilian cemetery. However, parents cannot harvest the sperm of their son unless he had left notarized instructions to the effect that this is his desire or that the court and the defense establishment agree to honor a request from his parents. What doesn't make sense is that even if the deceased soldier was not carrying an Adi card authorizing the transplanting of his vital organs so as to enable people to breathe, to live longer, to have functioning kidneys, to see, to heal – the parents can decide to donate his organs so that others may live; but the parents cannot without special permission use his sperm to create life.The solution to this problem is to create an IDF sperm donor card and to ask each male conscript whether he is willing to sign such a card. If he consents, a copy should be given to him, one to his parents, and one should be put in the files of the IDF. If he is married and leaves a young widow who has a close relationship with his parents, imagine how much comfort this would bring to two generations.On the other hand, it could also bring greater sorrow. It could prevent the young widow from getting on with her life because she might be burdened by guilt feelings if she does not make use of her husband's sperm, especially when she knows how much her in-laws are craving a grandchild. On the other hand, she will be bringing a fatherless child into the world. True, children adapt quickly. But making the choice on the part of the widow does pose a dilemma.Still, the option should be there, despite the tensions it may arouse.But if there is no widow or significant other, the parents of an only son should be left to make the decision alone. They have to take into account the age difference between them and their prospective grandchild. They have to make provisions for someone to look after the child in the event that something happens to them. They have to be sensitive to the child's emotional needs. The number of children born in recent months to widowed mothers is staggering. The mothers, out of concern for the well-being of their infants, bottle their grief. It's not a healthy situation.However, some legislation must be enacted on behalf of the parents and the widowed mothers to help them deal with their sorrow.Alternately, there are many children in Israel without any grandparents who would welcome the affection of a grandmother and grandfather, or at least one of the two.Young children, when they give affection, do so wholeheartedly, and if there is good chemistry between them and an older adult, the biology is really inconsequential. When we talk about the day after the war, this is one of the issues that should be taken into consideration. ■

Should the IDF issue sperm donor cards to soldiers? - comment

Some legislation must be enacted on behalf of the parents and the widowed mothers to help them deal with their sorrow.

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Should the IDF issue sperm donor cards to soldiers? - comment

Some legislation must be enacted on behalf of the parents and the widowed mothers to help them deal with their sorrow.

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