Harari’s family moved around, to Kiryat Gat, to Beersheba, and finally to Dimona where they arrived in 1968 about the same time as the Black Hebrews.
Rivlin’s immediate family stayed in Jerusalem, and he grew up in the middle-class high-brow environment of Rehavia, still considered an upscale neighborhood.
In the IDF, Harari served with the paratroopers, Rivlin in the intelligence corps, though he did accompany the paratroopers during the Six Day War.
Before and after the army Harari, who learned his love of music from the Black Hebrews, was a bass guitarist in a band, but pushed by his parents, studied to be a dental technician. Rivlin studied law at the Hebrew University.
Two years after his army service, Harari moved to Tel Aviv in 1980, and worked at various odd jobs to pay for his studies and board.
He taught drama, repaired antennae, was a DJ and finally, in 1987, got a radio job working for Reshet Gimmel which was then one of the Israel Broadcasting Authority networks. In 1995, he left Reshet Gimmel and joined Radio 103 FM, where he still broadcasts. He has also done several stints on television.
Rivlin was a member of the Jerusalem City Council and sat on the boards of several institutions, was elected to the Knesset, appointed communications minister, then House Speaker before being elected president in July, 2014. He too appeared on radio and television where his shooting from the hip sense of humor appealed to producers. He was also the manager of Beitar Jerusalem Football Club.
In 1971, Rivlin married Nechama. In 1989, Harari married Mirit. Both were strong women who did volunteer work among the weaker sectors of society.
Nechama Rivlin died a day after her 74th birthday, in June 2019, following complications from a lung transplant. Mirit Harari died at 52 in September 2020, following a two-year struggle with cancer. She summoned her last strength to attend the wedding of her daughter Avishag, and was awarded the President’s Prize for volunteerism two weeks before her death a month later.
Therein was the common denominator. Two men so different, in age and in background, but united in personal grief. The Rivlins were married for 48 years, the Hararis for 30 years.
Rivlin observed the shiva, a week of mourning and fielded hundreds of condolence calls, then returned to work with a heavy heart because the call of duty demanded it.
Harari waited over a month before he returned to broadcasting. He just couldn’t face the prospect.
The two widowers met last week at the President’s Residence to record a conversation as part of the all-day Yediot Aharonot Ynet conference, with personalities from many fields and backgrounds, that Ynet aired on its website Monday.
Harari asked Rivlin how long the yearning for one’s departed loved one lasts, and Rivlin replied that it never goes away, but one learns to live with it.
If it had been the other way around, he said, the women would have been able to deal with it better because women are stronger in this respect. Men remain children and always need a mother. The implication was that one’s wife is always the dominant figure in the family, even after the birds have flown the nest, because men remain children.
Harari and Rivlin found that grief was not their only common thread. Rivlin, as an MK, was a member of Likud, and Harari is a former member of a Likud campaign team. To hang onto the presence of their wives, they both began reading books their wives had read during their illnesses, to get into their heads during their final months.
The men also shared memories they retained of their wives, the ability to quickly make up after a disagreement, the awareness of each other even when they were not in the same room, and the perfect understanding of each other even during long silences.
They also discussed other aspects of their lives. Harari asked Rivlin whether he will take a post-presidency trip abroad, as is common post-army practice. Rivlin replied that during his presidency he has taken many trips to different countries. He has taken his children to football matches in Liverpool, London, Manchester, Milan and Turin. Now his nine jealous grandchildren insist he take them too.